I am envious people who are strong enough to follow their aspirations instead of following a path that society proscribed for them. They are the ones who do things that they find meaningful and fulfilling instead of simply going to a job to earn a paycheck. They are the ones who don’t buy into the 9 to 5. They are the ones who though they may be struggling are still having a hell of a lot of fun. They are the ones who believe that they can do it — whatever it happens to be.
I know I’m not alone. There are many out there like me. People who have strong creative skills but who have subordinated them for the sake of following a path that they believe is “the right thing to do.” Most of us are pretty miserable most of the time.
For too long, I’ve told myself that I can’t. I can’t make a living cooking — even though cooking is my favorite thing to do. I can’t make a living as a photographer — even though I’ve got a good eye and have captured some really great images. I can’t make a living as an artist — even though I do a pretty good job of producing some nice drawings and paintings. I can’t make a living as a writer — even though that’s what I studied in college and I can usually put coherent thoughts down on paper. (Or in bits and bytes as the case may be.) I can’t ditch the 9 to 5 rat race of a life that I’ve got — even though I know that’s what I need to do.
I’m formulating a plan to break out of this self-inflicted trap. I don’t know exactly what the plan is, but I know that I’ve got to start somewhere. I suppose this is the start. It’s time to get my collective shit together and start focusing on some things that are important to me and that might be a source of income in the future.
This much I do know — Fear is my trap. Fear of failure. Fear of inability. Fear of finding out that I can’t hack it. Fear that I won’t be good enough.
Well, I’m standing up and facing these fears. It may take some time. It may be difficult. I will make mistakes. But I’m going to move past these fears.