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Call me a Curmudgeon.  Go ahead, get it out of your system, cause you’re probably going to disagree with me on this post.

The “Tip Jar” has gotten way out of hand.  Everywhere I go, there seems to be a tip jar on the counter.  From Starbucks, to the local pizza joint, to the freakin coffee shop in my building at work, everyone’s got a tip jar out.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to tip people working in a capacity where tipping is customary and usual.  This is especially true where someone’s base salary is below minimum wage because they are expected to make the difference up in tips.  But come on people, not everything in life deserves or requires a tip, especially if you aren’t doing anything but filling a cup of coffee or putting a slice of pizza on a paper plate for me to take to my table – and subsequently bus – myself.

At the risk of sounding like my grandfather, when I was a teenager working in a sub shop the idea of putting out a tip jar on the counter never even occurred to me, because I wasn’t performing a service that deserved or required a tip – I was making sandwiches, which was in actuality, my entire reason for being behind the counter.  Tipping me for making a sandwich would have been ridiculous.  And even if I had thought of putting a tip jar out, my manager would have summarily dismissed the idea and threatened termination of employment if I’d done it.

This is part of what I call modern society’s “entitlement syndrome.”  Everyone seems to think that they are entitled to something.  Apparently, now everyone is entitled to be paid extra for doing their jobs.

I’m putting a tip jar on my desk.  Feel free to put a five-spot in it the next time I create a VLAN for you.

“Be generous with your insights and delights. Instead of fearing that they’re going to slip away and holding on to them, share them.” – Pema Chödrön

I struggle with the fact that food (in general) is my real passion in life but is in no way my profession.  I often romanticize about starting a butcher shop that specializes in local, sustainable meet products and sandwiches, but I’ve never gotten the gumption to do something about those fantasies.  However, the realities of life keep holding me back.  Questions nag at me when I think about his dream.

What would I do if I didn’t make money?  What if the business totally failed?  What would my hours be like?   What would we do for health insurance?  401K?  How do I reconcile this kind of business with a growing sense that I should eat less meat, or even completely go vegetarian?

Inevitably these questions and self doubt are too heavy for me to make the change.  Perhaps someday.  If not now, when?  When I’m fifty?

I’ve been reading a lot of books written by Buddhist practitioners.  They offer practical advice and guidance for living a life that is both physically and spiritually healthy.  I came across the quote at the beginning of this post in a book called Start Where You Are.  There are many ways I can live these words.  It occurred to me that sharing my cooking is one way to practice this teaching.

I spent the bulk of the week cooking for the Thanksgiving feast.  Since I have a bum left hand right now, the cooking was slower than usual and I needed to get some help from my family.  (I farmed out sweet potatoes and mashed potatoes, both of which were lovely when they arrived at the house already prepared.)  I started on Monday, took Tuesday off, and then cooked most of the day on Wednesday and all day on Thursday.

Wednesday, Mrs. TKD wanted to get take out for dinner, to give me a break.  But I was determined to make a meal for our guests.  After all, they had driven between 5 and 9 hours to get to our house.  I thought they deserved a good meal prepared fresh, rather than some take out.  I knew that they’d appreciate a home cooked meal, and indeed they did.  And it didn’t take too much more energy out of me.

Thursday was, of course, a marathon of cooking.  Not only was it Thanksgiving, but it was Mrs. TKD’s birthday.  I started cooking at 7:00 AM.  Scones, pancakes and bacon for breakfast.  Then I started cooking Thanksgiving dinner.  It was an all day affair, even with the advanced cooking and farming out of some of the sides.

Before we sat down to dinner, I offered a blessing of sorts.  I’d come across these words in my readings over the summer.  When I was reading In Defense of Food, by Michael Pollan, I was struck by his recommendation to offer a blessing at every meal.  I’ve not been a good practitioner of this suggestion, but I do like the suggestion.  The blessing need not be tied up with religious imagry.  They following words will do just fine:

Eating with the fullest pleasure — pleasure, that is, that does not come from ignorance — is perhaps the profoundest enactment of our connection wtih the world.  In this pleasure we experience and celebrate our dependence and our gratitude, for we are living from mystery, from creatures we did not make and powers we cannot comprehend. — Wendell Berry

These words remind us of our connections to the earth.  They remind us that eating is pleasurable, and rather than deny that pleasure, we should celebrate in this fact.  They also remind us of the gratitude and debt we owe to the creatures that sustain us through out our lives.  It was quite a feast, and everyone enjoyed it, as witnessed by the silence that fell across the room as we ate.

Often, we find ourselves dwelling in dark places, with little joy, and we find it difficult to recognize the true gifts we have in life.  Perhaps these gifts are our parents, our children, or our spouse.  Perhaps these gifts are friends or teachers who have helped us along the way.  Maybe these gifts are simple pleasures in life, like a few minutes to relax after a long day or week, or a sunset (or even a sunrise).  We all have gifts in our lives, but sometimes they are easy to forget; and as a result we fail to give thanks.

We live imperfect lives –  in imperfect times.  One of our challenges, is to seek a path that does not aim to perfect but rather to accept life’s imperfection while working to improve life, to reduce suffering.  There is a great deal of suffering in this world.  Very likely, you suffer.  We all do in one way or another.  Your suffering may be physical.  It may be mental or emotional.  It may be caused by an ailment or a relationship with another person.  Suffering is the human condition.  And yet, we can work to reduce suffering, in our own lives, and in the lives of others.  One way is to give thanks.

When we give thanks, we acknowledge that our suffering has been relieved in someway.  It feels good to give thanks.  We smile when we say thank you.  It reduces suffering, not only for the person who is giving thanks but for the person how is being thanked.

This year, on Thanksgiving, I am thankful for many things.  I’ve got good health, good family, good friends, and all the things for which we are usually thankful.  But what I’m most thankful for, is that I’ve discovered some ways to be more mindful in my life and these practices are making a difference.  I am thankful that I am feeling more joy and wonder even in imperfect times in this imperfect life.

It’s 7:40 AM.  Sunday.  I’m the only one up.  This hasn’t happened in almost two years.  I’m having coffee with milk and sugar.  I usually have it black but this is a treat!

Could this be a sign of things to come?

Lets hope so.

As I write this, my neighbors are running their gas-powered leaf blowers. (I confess to having not one but two such devices in my shed.) I am wondering how I will handled the leaves this year. There are literally thousands of leaves in the lawn. In the past, I’ve used the heavy artillery of the leaf blower to deal with them. The leaf blower runs on a 2-cycle engine, which means that it literally burns oil mixed with gasoline. It’s not good for the environment on a number of levels: Carbon Emissions being the first and noise pollution being the second.

After reading Dr. Kaza’s book this week, I’m seriously considering handling the leaves differently, perhaps with a rake instead of the leaf blower. It would be another step down a greener path in life.

I stumbled upon this video below at No Impact Man’s blog. It struck me and I need to share it.

On 24 October, people in 181 countries came together for the most widespread day of environmental action in the planet’s history. At over 5200 events around the world, people gathered to call for action on the climate crisis. To make this global call to action count, it must be impossible to ignore. (http://www.350.org)